Let’s get right to it with step #2 on this tolerations series: listing the effects. We have talked about the overall framework and last week Seth walked us through how to identify what we are tolerating. Now we need to figure out how these tolerations are affecting us and those around us.
If you’ve completed the first exercise and have walked through our worksheet, you likely are noticing some tolerations you didn’t know you had. No worries! Now that you have identified those tolerations, it will be easier to understand and see how they affect you. Once you have come to a conclusion of what things you are tolerating, we are here to help you list how those tolerations affect your personal day-to-day operations and your daily outlook in general. To quote Renee, we are here to help you get uber clear on what the total cost is of each toleration.
When you’re having a bad day, anything that isn’t ‘good news’ may seem to push your mood down even more. Tolerating things that don’t need your attention is like having a bad day, every day. Good news can easily get you back on track for the day, but add just one more toleration and it can shatter everything you did to build yourself back up. In saying that, some of the silliest and smallest things can make a huge difference. Have you ever seen a group of kids build a toy house and one runs up with a feather for the top of it and it all comes crumbling down? If you continue to add or keep up with an overload of tolerations, when the simplest toleration appears, it could bring you crumbling down even if it was meant to improve the situation.
Knowing what your tolerations are and how they affect you is half the battle. Luckily, there are numerous feelings that help you to recognize the damage those tolerations are doing to you, your workplace and your overall environment.
Renee listed some feelings that could creep up when dealing with tolerations:
- Every day is a “bad” day
• You’re exhausted all the time
• The majority of your day is spent on a task you find either mind-numbingly dull or completely overwhelming
• You feel like nothing you do makes a difference
• Feelings of failure and self-doubt
• Distracted from tasks
• Loss of motivation and energy
• Decreased commitment/increased distress
• No sense of accomplishment
Do any of these feelings sound familiar after you have looked over your worksheet? I hope I am not alone in saying, I have those days too! Let’ say you did get everything checked off your list – at the end of the day did it cost you quality time with your friends or family? Not wanting to be around the ones that love you most, and that you love most, is another feeling that can happen from tolerating things that are unnecessary. Did you yell at the kids or your significant other because they left a cabinet open? The cost of unnecessary tolerations isn’t just experienced at the office but many times our home life suffers as well.
To further this thought even more, have you skipped out on social events because you have nothing exciting or new going on in life to share? These tolerations affect your relationships with coworkers, family, friends and yourself.
Not every day will be a pocket full of sunshine but if you are only tolerating the things that need to be tolerated, your productivity and outlook will improve. When you are over stressed with tolerating everything, all those tolerations drain and eat up your energy impacting your personal time, your operations, the company’s operations.
Give your energy to more important tolerations, the one’s that will push you forward! I say that like it’s as easy said as done, but I’ll leave it to Stephanie to explain how to organize and reframe those tolerations in next week’s blog post.